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Read My Lips

Posted Apr 24th, 2012 by Pat Brown
If you can read my lips then you are up close and personal. Up close and personal means,you have made eye contact and are zooming in on the smackers. So am I minty fresh or doodie[people poop smell] breath. Eghad, that smell, take cover! Okay, pretend you are checking yourshoe then raise up in a spot not downwind from the doodie-breath dragon [unavoidable, he is theboss]. We all know that smell but it is normally not at the top it is usually at the bottom. Areyou following me? So how does the “inny” and “outty” get to smell the same way? I imaginethat is not something that happens overnight, agreed? There has to be a beginning and middle forit to end up this way. So hah-a-a-a-o-o-o-o-w did this happen?

The beginning has to be foods that taste good but smell awful. I know, garlic was one ofmy first top thoughts too, what else? Well, let the record show that I do not know anybody thatbrings their toothbrush to work and brushes after lunch, but that is just me. When I go out fordinner and hit the ladies’ room, e-e-e-n-n-n[buzzer sound], nobody’s at the sink brushing. So mysleuthing skills deduct that brushing 3x a day is myth or goal. Either way, I would bet that themasses get in one thorough brushing in the morning. Then we walk pass the toothbrush on theway to bed because we are not going to be talking in our sleep; makes “say that again” sense.

The middle has to be poor or no oral hygiene. If you are not brushing morning and nightthen you are waking up with morning breath. Morning breath is all the food you chewed afteryou brushed your teeth yesterday. Let us say you brushed around 6am. There is breakfast,maybe a snack then lunch maybe a shake then dinner and maybe dessert and all your liquids,maybe juice, coffee, and soda. I am thinking scrambled eggs with bacon, cheese, onions, andpeppers. Lunch is a salad with bleu cheese and a mini pizza with pepperoni, Italian sausage, andjalapenos. Then top off dinner with spicy BBQ wings, garlic mashed potatoes, and Mexicancornbread. Now chew that up and swallow it, throw in some enzymes, let it sit in for 12 hours at98.6 degrees, and you know “what’s cooking ”.

Therefore, you end up this way by take morning breath and multiply it (x) lets say 7 days.Do the math. That is at least 21 meals, 7 snacks, and gallons of fluids (x) 98.6 degrees (x) zerobrushing. Eureka!, morning breath level 2 or what doctors and dentists refer to as halitosis. Inhalitosis[doodie breath], bacteria collect in the mouth and on the tongue and teeth. Dry mouthor not enough saliva is an accomplice to halitosis. A small percentage of people have halitosisunmanageable by oral hygiene because they have a disease or medication in their blood expelledas bad breath [sigh]. So, do not try to read my lips, say nothing, and when the office starts to getcrowed give them a mint.

Calil, C., Liberato, F. L., Pereira, A. C., de Castro, M. M., Goodson, J.M., & Groppo, F.C.,
(2009). The relationship between volatile sulphur compounds, tongue coating and
periodontal disease. International Journal of Dental Hygiene, 7(4), 251-255.
DeAssis-Soares, M. R. F. & Maillet, P. J. (2011). Halitosis from tonsilloliths: Literature
review for oral healthcare providers. Canadian Journal of Dental Hygiene. 45(4), 223-
Douglas, L.M.(2009). Managing xerostomia. Vital. 6(2), p32-34.
Health & Quality of Life Outcomes. (2011). Social anxiety disorder in genuine halitosis patients.
Mayo Clinic. Bad breath causes. Comprehensive overview covers causes, treatment and
prevention of halitosis.
About the author

Ms. Pat Brown MSN, APN, RN
Doctoral Candidate - RN for Luten Nursing Services and ADJ FCLTY at UOP

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